Funny Things New Moms Say
I was inspired by this hilarious YouTube video to come up with my own list of funny things new moms say. Are you guilty of a few?
1) “Shhh…you’re going to wake him”. My whole body tenses up the second Billy decides to walk around during nap time. C-R-E-A-K goes every wooden floor board in our 1930s apartment.
2) “I’ll just do it”. It usually goes something like this – Me: Honey, will you change Will’s poopy diaper? Billy: Yeah, on the commercial. Me: I’ll just do it (super mom! ).
3) “He’s just going through a phase.” It’s a close call, but I might use this as much as the teething excuse to explain Will’s behavior. “He’ll outgrow it, right?” I ask every friend and family member hoping for some comforting reassurance.
4) What’s wrong? Why do we even ask our child this question? It’s like asking a dog, “why do you bark?” Obviously, both the dog and baby want something, but they can’t talk! and why does everyone else ask us, “What’s wrong with your little guy?” Well…since I’m a mind-reader, he’s upset that Tommy took his toy, and he’s been constipated for days.
5) “He didn’t sleep last night.” This is always an exaggeration, but when you are waking up 4 times a night it starts to feel that way and unfortunately you start to look that way. I don’t miss this “phase” at all thanks to this.
6) “We’re having one of those days”. I probably say this a couple of times a week, which basically takes away the legitimacy of the excuse.
7) “He’s such a boy.” Now, this is a complete generalization, but I still throw it out there whenever Will is wrestling his toys, smashing his food in between his fingers, or climbing our coffee table.
8) “He’s off his schedule”. As new moms, we OBSESS over the “eat, play, sleep” schedule. The second our child gets sick, or we are traveling, we quickly announce to everyone that is around, “He’s off his schedule!” Phew. Now we’re covered in case our child decides to have a meltdown.
9) “Daddy, it’s your turn”. I guess we think that if we put the word “daddy” in there it makes it sound more sweet, so they’ll come faster.
Any of these sound familiar? What do you hear yourself constantly saying as a new mom ? I’d love to hear your list!