Who’s in Charge?

by Julie

Will posing on the couch

Lately, it feels like Will is in charge of determining how long I will breastfeed. Some mornings he wakes up, pushes me away and cries. “Alright, alright, I’ll get you a bottle,” I say to him. He sure knows how to break my heart. It feels like being chosen last for capture the flag 😦 or like the bottle is better than me.

When I first started breastfeeding, my goal was 4 months. Slowly but surely, we both caught on, and 4 months turned into 6. Now, Will is almost 7 months old, and I figure, why not try for a year? I never thought I would make it that far, so a year would be a big accomplishment for us. But now, Will is being fickle. Somedays he likes me, other days he prefers formula, which means I have to pump. Unless I’ve had a few drinks, that pump stays hidden at the back of my closet. I really don’t want to go back into the daily pumping routine.

So, what do I do if Will’s favoritism for the bottle continues? Is this the end? Is that a good thing? When did you know it was time to wrap-it-up and close that chapter of motherhood?